Man....being where I am sucks. Like I'm super happy about where I am. I'm about to finish school. I'm getting married in 8 months. I'm happy with where I'm going. But I have polycistic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). It really upsets me. All my life I have wanted to be a mom. All my life I have heard about how I would be a great mom.

I don't know if I will be able to have children. My body doesn't work like it's supposed to. I'm in a crossroads. I want to try to have children, but I don't know If I will be able to. We're not ready have kids yet. I want to be married (I want to at least hit that milestone before we do have kids) before we have kids. But I have no idea if we will be able to do it naturally. I'm living a life of not knowing...like do we start trying now, and then have a miracle now when we're trying to plan the wedding (and me find a dress) or do we wait till we're married and I'm done with school before we start trying....only to find out that we can't do it naturally and we will have to find the funding for IVF or adoption?

I have cried so many times over this. All I want is to be a mom. I just don't know if it will ever be possible. It breaks my heart.

I went out for my friends birthday tonight, and I'm drunk as fuck right now. But this has been weighing on my heart hardcore lately. I want to be able to have a baby and a family, but having PCOS and (especially in knowing that I went a good chunk of time without being on BC and not getting knocked up) knowing that I will more than likely have a long hard journey to have a kid, I don't know what to do.
I just want to be a mom.

11/19/2017 3:25:59 AM

worst case scenario you will be a great mom to a kid that only needs the love you know you can offer and that alone iis a beautiful story if the universe intended it

11/19/2017 5:42:27 AM

Double posting sucks.

11/19/2017 8:53:55 AM

Omg....so I got drunk and cried on the last night

11/19/2017 4:22:57 PM

so fitting into a dress is more important than a baby?

11/19/2017 4:29:24 PM

Would suck worse being an orphan without a family that wanted to adopt you.

11/19/2017 4:43:50 PM