So the boyfriend and I were discussing a suggestion made by his mother about us moving in together. She made this suggestion out of the blue and we were just testing out her theory....but we can't come to any conclusion about it..

We were wondering what some honest pros and cons were...

Right off the bat for me:
Pro:Not having to move all my shit from house to house...and sex.
Con:Toilet seat and cat hair.

10/4/2007 9:22:07 PM

you're an idiot

10/4/2007 9:23:17 PM

His mom doesn't like you and knows that if you 2 move in together you'll end up fighting over some stupid shit and he'll break up with you.

10/4/2007 9:23:27 PM

sex will cease.

you will fight more.


and you'll end up breaking up and it'll be even worse because you live together.

10/4/2007 9:23:38 PM

Pro: living with somebody you care about
Con: having to put up with each other's inane habits

10/4/2007 9:24:06 PM

Oh, one more pro:his bed is much more comfy than mine.

His mom adores me. She bought me a cake pan last week. Nothing says love like a traveling cake pan.

I told him she suggested it because she wanted to access how much he cares for me by his response.

10/4/2007 9:27:03 PM

Quote :

"sex will cease. you will fight more. "

Quote :

"Pro: living with somebody you care about"

Con: If you fight, you don't have your house to go back to. You have to either fight it out or let it go.
Can go either way: You realize things about them that you never did before.

When I moved in with my bf, it was his mom's idea also.

[Edited on October 4, 2007 at 9:28 PM. Reason : ]

10/4/2007 9:27:21 PM

more difficult to cheat on her

10/4/2007 9:27:45 PM

Quote :

"I told him she suggested it because she wanted to access assess how much he cares for me by his response."

Fixed it for you.

Quote :

"Con: If you fight, you don't have your house to go back to. You have to either fight it out or let it go. Can go either way: You realize things about them that you never did before."

'Tis true.

10/4/2007 9:29:35 PM

I'm the player in the relationship.

But yeah, I'm sure I'd learn new things about him and him about me if we did actually move in together..

But really, how different is if you already pretty much live together? (his question, not mine)

[Edited on October 4, 2007 at 9:30 PM. Reason : access assess---thank you!]

10/4/2007 9:30:25 PM

^^^^true

[Edited on October 4, 2007 at 9:31 PM. Reason : ^^^^]

10/4/2007 9:30:51 PM

bethaleigh, how was it her idea? What did she say?

I think his cat got into the candy corn while we were gone. He was chomping on one and now he's running around like crazy.

[Edited on October 4, 2007 at 9:34 PM. Reason : oops.]

10/4/2007 9:34:08 PM

if one of you is a damn bum it will strain the relationship

10/4/2007 9:34:12 PM

haha personal story? ^

10/4/2007 9:35:12 PM

I live with my girlfriend and it's the best decision we've made.

10/4/2007 9:36:45 PM

no but one of my co workers had this problem


id never shack up

10/4/2007 9:36:53 PM

Well, it came down to me looking for a co-signer when I wanted an apartment for my Junior year. I called her as a last resort, and she told me no (like I expected, I would never think she would have done that, but the bf told me to at least ask); but she told me to look into the housing arrangement he had and to see about moving in with him.

He and I talked, she and I talked, and she and he talked... and I told him to think about it for about 3 weeks and not answer before then. And he said it was fine. So... the rest is history.

10/4/2007 9:38:20 PM

I always said I would never do it and it's still something I'm against. I know I'm just frustrated with the selection of 1 bedrooms for rent and he's going through the same thing.....

but one thing is for sure, we don't really want roommates. I love my one bedroom.

10/4/2007 9:40:07 PM

I live with my boyfriend and I love it

best decision ever

10/4/2007 9:40:22 PM

How come?

What makes it great?

[Edited on October 4, 2007 at 9:41 PM. Reason : ]

10/4/2007 9:41:00 PM

Quote :

"I'm the player in the relationship."

ahahahahahahahaha

10/4/2007 9:45:08 PM

statistically people who live together before they are married have a higher divorce rate.

10/4/2007 9:45:14 PM

Pros: always food in the fridge, comfort of having someone there to hang out with, having my own room if I need to get away,

Cons: I'm sort of a messy person and he's a cleaner person...but you get those issues with any roommate

Before I moved in, I was there all the time 24/7 so nothing really changed when I moved in. Only I didn't have to pay rent at UWoods anymore.

10/4/2007 9:46:02 PM

con: he's not me

10/4/2007 9:46:50 PM

Well, that would have been a deal breaker if it was a one-bedroom for us. Neither family would have gone for that. I always said that I would never do it too.

I didn't notice the question earlier, but once you actually move in together, it really is a big difference. It can be good or bad, usually a little of both. You would think that staying together all the time would be the same, but its really not.

I'm not saying to not do it, I'm just saying for both of you to be aware of the changes, I suggest that you make a pact to stay open about things that bug you... even if it seems like nagging.

(I know that this makes me sound completely miserable in my relationship and my living arrangements, but I'm really not.)

10/4/2007 9:46:52 PM

AND WHY IS THAT FUNNY JASON!!!???

Quote :

"con: he's not me "

I couldn't live with you anyhow. I don't read financial magazines and wear banana rep.

^See, I think a two bedroom would be better too.

10/4/2007 9:48:45 PM

Unless you have a king size bed, one or both of you will need some nights in a bed by yourself. That's another pro of having a 3 bedroom house.

10/4/2007 9:49:49 PM

Quote :

"Con:Toilet seat and cat hair."

I will never live with any woman who says a god damned word about the toilet seat in a joint bathroom. If it's your bathroom I won't use it, or if I do I'll leave it how I found it, however if it's shared you need to shut the fuck up. Do you honestly not look at the toilet before you sit down, you know in case it has been pissed on, shit on, or if the last person to use it didn't flush? Is it that much of a god damned burden to put the seat down if you're going to use it? Why is it imperative that I keep the seat in the position that is most convenient for you?

Fuck off.

10/4/2007 9:53:37 PM

I meant the toilet seat has cat hair all over it dickshit.

His cat loves to perch on the toilet for some odd reason.

10/4/2007 9:55:33 PM

^^ THANK YOU.

10/4/2007 9:57:16 PM

Nevertheless it's an all too common and incredibly inane complaint.

It's not my fault you phrased your con poorly. The use of the word "and" usually implies two separate things, i.e. this and that. You should have just said, "cat hair on the toilet seat," cuntshit.

10/4/2007 9:58:50 PM

I have a germophobia problem, and I can't stand the thought of touching a toilet seat where someone elses ass shits, or someone pisses in it... it makes my skin crawl and I have vomited from it before.

So, yes. I am one that asks that if someone uses my toilet, to put the seat down.

[Edited on October 4, 2007 at 10:01 PM. Reason : ]

10/4/2007 10:00:32 PM

I put ellipses on the first pro to indicate it was two separate thoughts. It's not my fault you are not familiar with common English punctuation.
Suck my balls, love...and my ass.

See what I did there?

The toilet seat thing doesn't bother me unless it's 5 am and I sit in the toilet water in an early morning stupor. What a wake up call that is.

10/4/2007 10:02:25 PM

you're 22...you haven't lived life yet. Don't burden yourself with such things

10/4/2007 10:07:38 PM

Yup, I'd murder you if I had to live with you. I wouldn't be surprised if your boyfriend does the same.

Quote :

"I put ellipses on the first pro to indicate it was two separate thoughts. It's not my fault you are not familiar with common English punctuation. Suck my balls, love...and my ass."

The pro was easily understood. The poorly phrased con was what caused confusion.

[Edited on October 4, 2007 at 10:10 PM. Reason : asdf]

10/4/2007 10:07:58 PM

I'm actually about to be 24 in a few weeks....lol, not that that is much older, but hey.

^^

[Edited on October 4, 2007 at 10:09 PM. Reason : .]

10/4/2007 10:08:24 PM

still...it is young. If you aren't in the same place as married folk, then its a bad idea. Not saying get married first....just saying, you should treat it in a similar manner. If you are prepared to put up with their shit 24/7/365 then you're there.

10/4/2007 10:10:22 PM

^ wait isn't this coming from somebody who knocked up a random girl and has a kid?

10/4/2007 10:12:45 PM

^ That would be someone even more fitting to be giving advice, wouldn't you think? You know, someone who has learned from their own personal life?

10/4/2007 10:13:37 PM

Good point

I am having trouble ignoring how awesome it would be not to lug all my shit everywhere and for him to not have to leave his cat alone to stay at my place....and to wake up next to him

But the whole "marriage" thing is just not where we are.

10/4/2007 10:14:16 PM

Eh, just go for it. Just keep yourself financially stable enough that you could move out JUST IN CASE something does happen.

But if you've been together for a while, and tou think the two of you can communicate, then go for it. Communication is key.

10/4/2007 10:16:20 PM

con: having your s/o find out you seek advice dealing with the intricacies of your relationship on a forum called the wolf web =\

/troll

10/4/2007 10:21:35 PM

^.

how long have you two been together? and if marriage is not in your future, then really why waste the time? and the toilet seat thing is just childish.

10/4/2007 10:27:19 PM

Quote :

"^ wait isn't this coming from somebody who knocked up a random girl and has a kid?"

I have a kid? WTF? Where?

Quote :

"But the whole "marriage" thing is just not where we are."

I wasn't actually meaning get married. Just saying...you have to ackwoledge and accept the fact that you two will be together, under the same roof always. Its a big step. If you get pissed off all you can do is slam the bedroom door in his face and pout...maybe even toss him a blanket for the couch. Too many people take this stuff too lightly. You could stay with him at his apartment....but have a place of your own to fall back to from time to time...just to try things out.

[Edited on October 4, 2007 at 10:31 PM. Reason : .]

10/4/2007 10:28:10 PM

Quote :

"Communication is key."

yep. Lack of or improper communication is what causes most problems for most people.

how long have you been together, pawprint?

10/4/2007 10:28:55 PM

Haha, he and I made this thread together. We've knwon each other seven years, have been good friends 3 years and have been dating a year.

It doesn't sound like a long time but I know what our future will be. And no one said marriage was not in the future...I just said we know we are not ready for that but we do discuss it.

10/4/2007 10:32:03 PM

^as long as you discuss it and know where each other stands, then i think you two should go for it. just make sure you have a solid game plan if something happens and one of you needs to move out, i.e. how the lease is set up, who pays the bills, etc.


my boyfriend and i live together... and it is one of the best decisions we have ever made and we are getting married next year.

about the divorce rate thing: here's how i see it... every single marriage has a 50/50 chance of ending in divorce. why wouldn't you want to see how you and your significant are when living together before marrying him or her? i think it just saves time and money in the long run. but i wouldn't recommend it if you are just starting out, or whatever.

[Edited on October 4, 2007 at 10:36 PM. Reason : ...]

10/4/2007 10:35:01 PM

the way I see it marriage has a 66% failure rate.

One of you could die or divorce

10/4/2007 10:36:23 PM

Quote :

"why wouldn't you want to see how you and your significant are when living together before marrying him or her?"

exactly.

10/4/2007 10:38:21 PM

set em up.

10/4/2007 10:39:03 PM