ex gf issues?

4/25/2011 2:23:12 AM

Depressed is my middle name these last couple of years. If I could get out from under my mountain of debt, get out of this condo, hit the road for places far away...I need a change.

4/25/2011 2:29:58 AM

Quote :

"I need a change"

i say this everyday. i'm counting down hardcore until the fall. when i should have enough $$ save to peace out...even if i haven't found a job. gotta get out of here.

4/25/2011 2:31:49 AM

Quote :

"ex gf issues?"

A little bit.

4/25/2011 2:38:05 AM

you need to forget about that grapefruit

that shit's sour and squirts in your eye

4/25/2011 2:42:16 AM

lol

4/25/2011 2:43:02 AM

i love grapefruit!!!!!!!!!

4/25/2011 2:50:33 AM

PRESENT



well not depressed but in a pretty blah mood

5/20/2011 9:30:47 PM

saaaaaaame

5/20/2011 9:31:20 PM

plus i fell down the stairs today with my computer and it smashed at the bottom and now does crazy things in the middle of typing sometimes

WHOOPS

5/20/2011 9:32:47 PM

i'm not depressed

i'm just ILL AS SHIT

5/20/2011 9:51:51 PM

Every motherfuckin' day. I'd love to have ONE good day soon.

5/20/2011 10:29:39 PM

mfp

5/21/2011 12:52:59 AM

food will be your friend

5/21/2011 1:19:54 AM

I don't get depressed or angry anymore

because I choose not to

5/21/2011 2:23:25 AM

Loose a wife, its not a choice.

5/21/2011 2:28:08 AM

getting married is

sorry about your lose, though

5/21/2011 2:31:44 AM

I didn't get raptured.

5/21/2011 2:32:46 AM

Post.

5/21/2011 3:16:12 AM

medication for the cause is a placebo!

but seriously though, if you think something is wrong, and you can't shake it, there is no shame in getting help

5/21/2011 3:36:26 AM

just ended a 4 year relationship by my choice

so why do i feel like absolute shit?

sigh

5/28/2011 11:31:42 PM

great now you'll remember this breakup every fucking memorial day

way to go

I'm no helping much huh?

5/28/2011 11:33:48 PM

haha its all good

you get what you pay for on tdub therapy

my question was pretty rhetorical anyway, i know exactly why i feel like shit, just need to find healthy ways to deal with it, after i finish this bottle of Knob Creek that is.

5/28/2011 11:37:04 PM

oh hay

delish

5/28/2011 11:38:12 PM

i guess i will not have a day this week where i don't end the day in rage and tears

i'm surprised there is even any skin left around my eyes. they're all raw and this is like one of my last pairs of contacts and its getting all fucked up by stupid salt water

ughhhhhhh

7/14/2011 6:55:58 PM

I'm getting back into this phase now

it sucks

7/14/2011 6:59:19 PM

I don't want to sit and wait for a person to get downtrodden by someone else, while they're hiding from me because I'm not happy. We still have things to work out, but I can't be mad while you're just pushing yourself down.

I just want to love.
Don't make me wait.
Why has all of today sucked so much.

7/14/2011 7:25:56 PM

7/14/2011 7:51:52 PM

i had this sad moment today
and i keep thinking about the moment
and now i can't sleep

ugh

7/14/2011 11:56:51 PM

i realized tonight while i was running (in the dark by myself like a moron) that if i went missing the first person/people that would notice i was MIA would probably be tdub, at least in tonight's situation since i don't have to go to the office tomorrow.

mainly cause i'd miss posting and ThePeter would notice

kinda sad to know :-/

9/4/2011 10:07:44 PM

But we would be concerned and make emce or the5thsoth check on you

9/4/2011 10:24:06 PM

haha well thank you

9/4/2011 10:25:22 PM

9/4/2011 10:29:02 PM

I'd make a missing runner thread for you.

9/4/2011 10:29:42 PM

10/21/2011 1:06:53 AM

you need friends

10/21/2011 1:26:58 AM

I'm doing all right now

I just have natural mood issues, and they keep going back and forth lol

I really don't think I need friends that much, honestly

I could use like 1 or 2 maybe IRL

and I have several good ones already (even tho they're far away)

generally trying to make friends in an area like Washington is fruitless

the types of people here mostly annoy me

10/21/2011 1:30:09 AM

^you like to smoke weed, right? you should get high and start going on runs. if you do it at night, you'll keep a really good pace 'cause the paranoia will sometimes make you feel like you're being chased. but at the times when you aren't terrified, you're high will be amplified considerably. try it out.

10/21/2011 1:55:01 AM

I'd have to vap it I guess, cause I don't think my lungs would agree with smoking right before running

I haven't smoked in quite some time though (but believe me I've tried to find some, but just failed haha)

I'll def have to try that though

sounds alicious

10/21/2011 2:01:00 AM

poast :/

1/21/2012 3:17:13 PM

toast

1/21/2012 3:31:27 PM

1/21/2012 4:30:02 PM

1/21/2012 4:34:55 PM

BubbleBloggle Post #69

let me preface this by saying, again, this is mostly for my benefit and it just helps me to type it out sometimes - but it's mostly just a complaint, and not really a question

so I'm teetering lately and it fucking sucks. and I've been at this shit for over a year and a half now, and I'm tired of it thankfully I haven't been overly sad.. but actually I think I would prefer that to being angry because I'm not used to getting angry so easily. it happened a lot like growing up, but I learned how to chill out and not get mad for a while after HS. now it just happens randomly. I would say it mostly stems from irritability, but I try not to make the complete shift over into anger from irritability, and lately am losing my ability to do that :3

by teetering, I mean there is a very thin line between my mood shifts. like it's not rapid mood shift disorder (whatever it's called), it's super duper mood shift disorder or something

like I was really happy and enjoying myself this morning and then just, something made me mad and it basically shifted my entire psyche over to anger lol, it's fucking annoying

and it's disheartening bc I am pretty much refusing to try anymore antidepresants lol too many side effects that I couldn't handle. and I've heard of people taking a second pill to counteract side effects from the first one, and that's just dumb as sh*t so I don't think I'll do anything like that

OR SHOULD I DO THAT

I HAVE TRIED THERAPY LOL DIDN'T WORK - STILL THINKING ABOUT THE ECT STUFF THOUGH BUT I AM WARY OF THAT :3333

WHAT DO I DO HELP LOL

jk I'm like mostly fine, at least I can be normal when necessary. but i'm just tryin' to do whatever I can to make this easier

still wary of anti-psychotics, but am considering taking one in the evening to see if that helps. I'm pretty sensitive to side effects, so even somewhat minor ones will bother me. like I instantly could tell zoloft gave me clammy hands, affected my pelvic floor (pretty sure that's what it is) because I was having *(censored content but basically bathroom related and gross lol)* and, though this is N/A, antidepressants (especially zoloft) just affects your libido instantly (for a lot of males anyway, probably females too)

so mini tl;dr to that above paragraph: antidepressants bad, antipsychotics may be necessary

do I have brain damage? is there any point in checking to see if I have brain damage at this point in my life?

sorry, TWW is obviously a blog at this point

thanks for your time


overall tl;dr: my mental condition seems to be worsening overall, though I'm slightly better semi-recently, so I'm optimistic, but slightly worried of it slipping out of control, too. TWW is basically a blog and that's all this post is. I think it helps me to type stuff out, even if it's useless to everyone else. and if anyone has any ideas I appreciate it. keeping my mind engaged and getting out and about helps) antidepressants are off the table (or at least certain ones.. which BTW I need to list them here so I don't forget bc, again TWW is a blog) would consider laying off on THC usage bc another issue I'm having is slight cognition problemzzz, and I know that isn't helping also, I think I'm having situational problems/depression, so that's bound to be part of it, but obviously more of it is that I'm insane


second tl;dr because the 1st one got out of control : mental and cognitive disorders/conditions are lame - I am using this thread as a vent also, it is important to note that

5/14/2025 3:59:28 PM

also, did I mention TWW was a blog enough?

5/14/2025 4:02:02 PM

That sucks dude you should let Jesus take the wheel and by Jesus I mean an involved psychiatrist that you plan to adhere to their plan

5/14/2025 4:25:09 PM

Quote :

"and I've heard of people taking a second pill to counteract side effects from the first one, and that's just dumb as sh*t so I don't think I'll do anything like that OR SHOULD I DO THAT"

5/14/2025 6:41:13 PM

Get a good shrink.
Get a good therapist.
Don't fuck around with psychological shit.

5/14/2025 6:58:47 PM

oh I forgot to rule out psychiatry lol

I'm sure someone would be helpful but by and large I don't really need their advice any more than any random person's lol but maybe I'll consider trying it again

5/14/2025 7:33:44 PM

Breh... 8 times out of 10 folks need to talk about shit to have any chance of moving forward in life. It's not about taking fucking advice. People on TWW probably know you well enough to give you the "advice" you ought to follow. Good therapists don't give you advice. Hell, you probably already know what you need to do, you just can't fucking do it, and you don't know why. A therapist's job is to help you figure out why you can't do what you want to do. They help you identify and correct the maladaptive thought processes and patterns that have you stuck where you are.

Look, no offense, but i don't generally give two shits about you. I've never met you, I probably never will. But you sound depressed and it sounds like it's a living hell. There's no damn reason for you to be going through it without addressing it. Swallow your damn pride, put on your fucking big boy pants, and go do something about it.

5/14/2025 11:03:16 PM