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 Message Boards » » who wants to critique my lyrics to my new song? Page [1]  
Cherokee
All American
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anyone?

11/7/2007 2:58:24 AM

tromboner950
All American
9667 Posts
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What genre of music?

11/7/2007 2:58:52 AM

FykalJpn
All American
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if you post them, rest assured that they will be critiqued

11/7/2007 3:09:47 AM

Cherokee
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Is there nothing left to live for, that’s my question
It would seem not with all this war, killing our brethren
Ask myself what we do this for, is there some lesson
That we seem to be looking for
Then why not stop and step in
The right direction, yes I find it interesting we kill over complexion
Even with an education we stay stressing
Killing people cuz they’re different, thinking we’ll be let in
Some perfect sounding place that everybody calls heaven
It might just be me, but who the fuck are people kidding?
It’s quite clear to those of us with some perception
We’ve been heading down the wrong path since its inception
This conception people have of right and wrong
Couldn’t be further from the truth, let it be known
Letting people starve while we over-consume
Deporting immigrants even though we have room
Locking people up for the things they consume
Borrow people’s hope and pay them back with more gloom
I’ll never understand how a country started well
Grew through tough times while problems start to swell
Overcame obstacles larger than life
Could take people’s rights and cause them so much strife
Self-centered thinking coupled with hypocracy
Could spell the end of this truly great democracy
But even more chilling is it doesn’t stop there
People everywhere simply stop to sit and stare
We have all the knowledge that we need for our survival
Yet no one wants to sacrifice their time for a revival
We’re one small part of this crazy lonely world
And if we don’t stop, there’ll be nothing left to tell
The future generations how we used to live in peace,
Peace is now an outcast because talk is cheap
Used to be worth something till we started beef
Now people are dying every night out in the streets
This is reality, much more a challenge see
To change the way our people live or face catastrophe
And even though it wasn’t really ever asked of me
It’s a responsibility that life has tasked to me
It’s a responsibility of everyone to stop
Open a book, learn something and then pass it on
Open our eyes and pay attention to what’s going on
Cuz we’re setting ourselves up and it won’t be long
Before we’re huddled in our basements thinking what went wrong?
Every one of us huddled down like saddam




i have a beat my friend and i made for it, sort of a slow rap beat, kinda reminds me of nas

11/7/2007 3:16:29 AM

FykalJpn
All American
17209 Posts
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reminds me of fort minor

11/7/2007 3:54:48 AM

wdprice3
BinaryBuffonary
45912 Posts
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lyrics

11/7/2007 7:12:47 AM

TenaciousC
All American
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Quote :
"Is there nothing left to live for, that’s my question"


I stopped after the first line. I don't read emo.

11/7/2007 7:34:38 AM

Mulva
All American
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^lol me too

11/7/2007 7:39:54 AM

grimx
#maketwwgreatagain
32337 Posts
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Quote :
"I stopped after the first line. I don't read emo."

11/7/2007 7:43:21 AM

bethaleigh
All American
18902 Posts
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SO WE KEEP ON WAITING

WAAAAAAAAIIIIIITTTTTTTTING

WAITING ON THE WORLD TO CHANGE


jk, kinda reminds me of that type of song. good lyrics if you ask me.

11/7/2007 7:50:02 AM

Mulva
All American
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Quote :
"
jk, kinda reminds me of that type of song. good lyrics if you ask me."


The universe just exploded at the implications of this statement

11/7/2007 7:58:19 AM

pilgrimshoes
Suspended
63151 Posts
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this is one of those threads you'll regret making when you sober up

11/7/2007 8:01:37 AM

Jeepin4x4
#Pack9
35774 Posts
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Quote :
"The right direction, yes I find it interesting we kill over complexion
Even with an education we stay stressing
Killing people cuz they’re different, thinking we’ll be let in
Some perfect sounding place that everybody calls heaven
It might just be me, but who the fuck are people kidding?
It’s quite clear to those of us with some perception
We’ve been heading down the wrong path since its inception"



WAT?

11/7/2007 8:09:07 AM

bethaleigh
All American
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nevermind, I didn't read it. Now that I see that you are implying that there is no Heaven, I don't like it anymore. And there's too much cussing for this type of song.

11/7/2007 8:15:48 AM

Cherokee
All American
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actually it implies that people are killing thinking that they can get to heaven, doesn't imply there isn't a heaven

11/7/2007 10:34:18 AM

 Message Boards » Chit Chat » who wants to critique my lyrics to my new song? Page [1]  
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