2724
Jackson's mama

2/22/2012 10:53:50 PM

I wish I spoke Swedish.

And Afrikaans.

And Spanish.

And German.

And French.

But I'm retarded when it comes to learning new languages, so it''l never happen.

2/22/2012 11:04:37 PM

I beg to differ. Just Rosetta Stone it all.

You'll be fine.

2/22/2012 11:23:13 PM

Quote :

"But I'm retarded when it comes to learning new languages, so it''l never happen."

2/23/2012 2:07:32 AM

Dear body,
plz to get rid of migraine. fix foot and cure yourself.
k Thnks

2/23/2012 2:13:40 AM

I effectively fuck myself over on a regular basis

2/23/2012 4:06:48 AM

Just got dumped over facebook....classy

2/23/2012 8:07:06 AM

Quote :

"plz to get rid of migraine"

agreed.

2/23/2012 8:07:10 AM

damn it

2/23/2012 8:24:50 AM

Storytime > Gigi's > vet > TJ's > Meat house > Kroger > clean and prep for our dinner guests > Gigi's

Next week I'm seeing a movie after my lunchdate

2/23/2012 8:54:16 AM

I <3 Yearly Bonus day.

And Gigi's Cupcakes are awful.

2/23/2012 8:57:55 AM

Haha gigi's = my mother's house. It's what she has chosen to be called as a grandmother

2/23/2012 9:03:38 AM

2/23/2012 10:31:14 AM

Quote :

"Whale survives harpoon attack 130 years ago to become 'world's oldest mammal'"

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-461703/Whale-survives-harpoon-attack-130-years-ago-worlds-oldest-mammal.html#ixzz1nDfZx2US

Damn!

2/23/2012 10:32:54 AM

colin cowherd just said soccer is more popular than college basketball right now

2/23/2012 10:50:01 AM

^^

Quote :

"Alaskan whalers found the harpoon fragment as they carved the 50-foot long whale up with a chainsaw after using a powerful 21st century gun to kill it. "

so who know how much longer he could have lived

2/23/2012 10:58:22 AM

I swear to Christ if I don't fucking go off on someone today it'll be a miracle.

2/23/2012 11:11:14 AM

Today is one of my ex's bdays. I did a quick google search of her to see if she ever got a job after law school....didn't find her at the law firm website she supposedly worked for...but did find her DWI mugshot.

Ouch.

2/23/2012 11:25:54 AM

oo. i can breathe through my nose. Yay!

2/23/2012 11:56:42 AM

Is anyone else watching this season of the Biggest Loser?

2/23/2012 1:04:54 PM

What it is like to french kiss MinkaGrl01's butthole.

2/23/2012 1:07:39 PM

(*)(*)

2/23/2012 2:16:43 PM

dear neighbors, my horrible singing at the top of my lungs while cleaning still isn't the same as you playing dubstep at 4am.

2/23/2012 2:56:33 PM

but it is.

2/23/2012 3:01:48 PM

new status name

[Edited on February 23, 2012 at 3:18 PM. Reason : f]

2/23/2012 3:15:14 PM

suicide hitting way too close to home way too often

fuck

2/23/2012 3:33:56 PM

bigman pwnt, stay home

2/23/2012 3:34:35 PM

Quote :

"Haha gigi's = my mother's house. It's what she has chosen to be called as a grandmothe"

when I was a baby, the first time I tried to pronounce "grandpa", it came out "gee-gee"

it's since been shortened to "Gee" and me and my younger sister still call him that

2/23/2012 3:37:34 PM

i can kind of see my floor. Progress!

2/23/2012 3:39:53 PM

I've been thinking all afternoon "damn this is a really long day." And then I realized why. My morning meeting ran until 2:00, and I never took a lunch. Wish I could just skip out of here early, but I'm about to go into another meeting. Oh well, such is life. I've got a deep tissue massage tonight to make up for it.

2/23/2012 4:35:49 PM

Consider this a message
To my mellow in the front seat
Of the Jeep
Bangin beats for your rump
In the summertime
Im risin to the shine at 12:20
Ghetto streets is sunny
Niggas is gettin money

2/23/2012 4:38:39 PM

someone recommend to me a decent pair of running shoes. plz

2/23/2012 5:12:06 PM

I just bought Peter some running shoes, but I don't know if he likes them or if they're "decent". But he wears them.

2/23/2012 5:39:10 PM

so bored

2/23/2012 5:39:46 PM

^^uhh...

ib4coolstorybro

2/23/2012 5:44:39 PM

In other words, you should probably ask Peter if he likes his new shoes. I would ask him, but he is obligate to say yes to me.


I came in here to complain about my shoulder, not talk about shoes.

My shoulder hurts.

2/23/2012 5:47:35 PM

2/23/2012 5:53:20 PM

2/23/2012 5:59:15 PM

so i managed to watch Once Upon A Time and Modern Family without crying...

i'm getting better

2/23/2012 7:07:25 PM

dinner this week has been so good. mmmmm.

2/23/2012 7:09:29 PM

hitting up the stovetop again makes me wonder why I don't have a spatula....

2/23/2012 7:28:39 PM

2/23/2012 9:22:38 PM

well that was fun. Now time for sleep.

2/23/2012 9:58:47 PM

2/23/2012 10:11:50 PM

Quote :

"when I was a baby, the first time I tried to pronounce "grandpa", it came out "gee-gee" it's since been shortened to "Gee" and me and my younger sister still call him that "

that's an awesome grandpa name

2/23/2012 10:23:11 PM

Not having a functional sense of smell makes it much harder to tell if milk is still good.

2/23/2012 10:23:34 PM

Just saw a dude get shot to death on live TV. Did not expect to see that

2/23/2012 10:39:58 PM

^where?

2/23/2012 10:44:41 PM

CBS Los Angeles. Suspected carjacker, driving relatively slowly and following the rules of the road (turn signals and red lights). He was suspected of having a weapon, stopped at a gas station, apparently went for the gun in his car (never left the car) and the LAPD lit up his car like a Christmas tree. You could see blood splatter all over the windshield, and they took him out of the car and just left the body until the ambulance came.

2/23/2012 10:46:59 PM

So I watch The Vampire Diaries. Yes, whatever. I am thoroughly embarrassed. I find myself lately getting overly annoyed with the whole story of how this all revolves around one girl, two brothers fighting over the affection of this one "amazing" girl, there are always surprise guest popping in that are older than dirt and this town just has multiple dances and I am like how the fuck can they afford this shit. Also, the fact that EVERYONE is gorgeous in this town has to be enough to make anyone barf. THIS IS NOT REAL LIFE TWW.

Anyway, I'm watching it again.

2/23/2012 11:31:52 PM